Friday, December 09, 2005
I'm sorry to those whom I have shouted at or scolded recently. When i get totally pissed off.. I cant really control my emotions now. I even shout at my own mother and eldest brother at times, when they accused me or something that i find it really stupid. Especially this period of time where all our projects have to be due at the same time, I kept thinking that I've contributed very little for all the projects. Maybe this happens all the time, or I'm just sensitive, I strongly feel that groupwork really makes a difference. Reflect on yourself everytime you do a project. Do you really attempted it? And what did you actually know about the project? Sometimes, when you are helpless.. and everyone smiles at you..and do nothing.. Have you ever felt this way before? I dare not deny I'm a slacker, but at least I've tried.
**Note: Nothing happened =D (just some reflections from projects)
To : anonymous
I appreciate the kind advice that you have given me. But, on the other hand, you are somehow contradicting yourself. I dont get the point that you are trying to say that friends around me are all suffering. Do i really make a bad friend? Closest friends having friendship problems?(For your info, I have only one close friend, and we always share our problems frankly.) Able to comfort me as they have been through the same experience? May I know who has comforted me?? And..reflect what's wrong with myself?? Yes, I do that all the time.Erm who are the people you are referring to as "friends"? I dont really go out at all other than to school. So how the hell I make my "friends" suffer? Reason why im always meditating at home is because of the following reasons:
1. I only go out 3 people in the past.2. Left only one who is willing to go out with me, but really have tonnes of projects, but no matter what, we still keep in contact.3. For the 2nd friend, i dont know why she suddenly blocked me in msn for months when nothing actually happened, and i was not very sure what happened, wanting to ask her out, to decrease the "feud", and was always being rejected. But last month she started to talk like a human though not as often.4. For the last person, she sticks to her honey just like what UHU glues does. I suppose the only place she part from her "laogong" is the loo. (-_-") Goes out very often with her "laogong", but when friends ask her out, she will say, "aiya.. sian.. /tired../no money.." However, life still goes on right? I didn't care about no.3 and no.4 already. Since going out with me is a chore for them, so why not dont ask at all in the future? Everyone will be happier this way i guess..at least i feel better this way. So isn't this called "opening up" or "facing realityand problems"??Anonymous, maybe you have misunderstood me.
- evileen