Friday, November 04, 2005
Im tired. Really really tired. I dont know why she's still like this? Dont blame me please, it's not what i want, it's her. I dont even know what the hell i have done and what i can do to appease her. As if it's my problem, ever at all? Or she wanna see cutting my wrist with a blade, or jumping off a building before her eyes? We are 18! I dont see any point being like that with those "trivial" matter, ><" whilst i dont even know what is the "trivial" matter is all about. Im dead beat..
Thought it was supposed to be a happy day.. And yet, im feeling so sad now. Why must it be like this everytime we plan to go out? Cant it just be a easy one? It's always the same old answers. I hate it.. I really dread it..And siu juan(ex ex colleague) ask out but i said no after asking jes if she wants her to go as well, well, a no. Understandable. I always try to make myself free even though im busy or tired or whatever.. why??
I know im a really bad person who rots to the core. But im trying my best to be good already. When will this ever end? I dont know. The problem doesnt lie with me anymore.
- evileen