Sunday, October 30, 2005
Had a big cry just then. Now blogging with "goldfish eyes". Today feeling real sad.. planned to go bank tmr and stuff already, friend pressing me for the timing but im really gonna be busy tmr so i dont know what will be the time i'll be meeting them? So i just told one of them.. If you're meeting your bf.. then meet him ba, it's ok with me =). Haiz..Then dont know what.. was talking to the mom, she told me not to buy concession first, 'cause i used the $52 for bus stamp on black shirts $38, and $10 for topping-up busfare, so i was telling her, $2 left. She said, "so tmr take out the $52 from your bank and buy " "okie.." Oh yea.. today you gave me allowance already. Then i told my brother, " You know dine at suntec so exp.. $6.. i must chip in more money on my own everyday." "Aiya.. suntec for sure de ma.. at least need dont know how much le" "ya lor..$6...cant reallt survive le.. now like no money like that.." She entered the room, and asked, "what did you say just now? Isnt $6 enough for you to eat? You think you're going to get all the good food? You think what.." "It's not that Im saying $6 is little.. but a decent meal there need at least..$3.50 So err can i have my atm card tmr plz?" "NO. im not going to give it to you. I will keep it." "what??" /...
She went away and i broke down and cried.. All my efforts has gone down the drain..The days i spent working..could be used for a break.. but i chose to work just for the sake of money. And now.. i cant even touch it..
My bro overheard and said, " do you think $6 is enough for a normal person to survive? You are not her.. you wont understand.. It's really tough.." "So you think she can get the card and you get to borrow alot of money from her again eh?" "Do you know what you are saying? May i know your age plz? You sounds like a 5 yr old kid."
Sighs. tmr.. will i be sad again? I dont feel like going to school.. or work in future again.. I really have no interest in games.. nothing in particular anymore..Life's meaningless.. It did came across my mind before, if i wanna end my life to put a stop to all this torment..Maybe one day i will.. i dont know.
- evileen