Saturday, September 17, 2005
A friendless soul, in a lonely world..
With no pals.. with no friends..
Pondering in thoughts in every moments..
She wish..that things would never be the same..
She finds it surprisingly one day.. that she has no friends..or rather, even a single friend.
Talking to her all day long were nv her friends.. it's normally guys who are online.
This is sad... it goes to show she doesnt have a single friend..?
No..no one will ever know her existence.. Even when she died out of a sudden..
No one will care.. No one will bother..
Or even perhaps.. they will know..
But it will be on the last few pages of the newspapers..? or..maybe not.. they dont read newspapers..They will never know.. Because "they" never exist at all.
She has no friend.
real life fren: wow..you look prettier now.. so any bf?
her: err..broke up long ago.. now nope..
*later found out her real life fren put " 'im homosexual' as msn nick*
real life fren: how come..
*blabla*
her: im feeling very sad..because i have no friend.
real life fren: err.. what abt me?
her: haha.. you're very fortunate.. you have friends who are still in contact with you..so good..
real life fren: no.. you have me. we r frens.
her: thanks..but it seem.. that it's hard to find someone that you can really confide in.. these days..everyone is so busy..everyone is occupied with something.. it seems..that the whole world is rejecting u..it's useless to have a handphone.. can throw it anyway..Because even with so many free sms per mth.. no one ever bother to look up for me.. no one..
real life fren: huh..? nvm.. still have me..
her: thanks alot..
*but is just casual talk.. not her close fren anyway..*
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Later on..
as usual, police came to her house again. (for some reasons, dont bother to ask)
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another fren: hey.. 4 ice creams in 2 days? better take care and dont get sick..
her: how come you still rmb me? i tot you think i die le..
another fren: wah.. dont like that la..
her: haha.. used to it..supposed to be happy after exams.. but feeling very sad, sian and bored..
another fren: how come?? PMS?
her:...no
* and she talks abit of crap that sounds really sad for a moment*
another fren: hey.. something must be wrong..what happened?
her: nothing..nothing happened..everyday is like that.. im used to it..it's normal already..
another fren: sure?? okie..
*goes to counsell the mother for the *court* thingy*
( i will make sure the evil bitch*70plus of age* die --> if you dont die of old age, i will find ways to help u die. )
*comes back to the laptop..accidentally cloes all the msn windows..*
her: im sorry..i accidentally closed the box..did u write anything?
another fren: nvm.. it's ok..
her: well.. dont disturb u anymore..good nite..
another fren: nite..
* and she went off to sleep thereafter *
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today... will going to the esther foo's chalet.. will there be any fun..?
im afraid it will be bored as usual..i dont like this.. i dont know what is coming over me..
i was optimistic in the past.. but now..everything is not positive enough for me to be optimistic again..
a "kai xin guo", has now become a " ku gua"..
What has happened..?
I feel so suddenly out of the world..
Cant there be anything out there .. just to surprise me..? * err i mean good things*
I dont want to feel so free.. everyday at home.. no close fren ask me out..
I wan to work.. to keep me thinking of important things all the times..
And not brooding over the past like now..
I just want to be a normal, simple and happy person..
I want to live life.
- evileen