Saturday, September 24, 2005
Although I know no one actually reads my post, but i will continue to post as this is the only way i can express my feelings, and also diary is my only fren/confidante for life.
Talking about friends.. they are gone forever. my once bests pals of all.. Gone 4eva and nv back again.. This has been a problem for me even up to this day.. It may seem that im a very sensitive person to many ( yes, i dont deny that, but to only a certain extent) , or to even some ppl they might think this is a "minor" issue. But to me, I really take friendships with all my heart, and also on some occasions when i think about, i will cry over it.
Yes.. What's the big deal? Just put yourself inside my shoes..Everyday is never exciting if you stay home n rot all the way, and no one ever misses u , or maybe i use "in other words", no one wanna bother or care about, even you are dead. MSN contacts all can delete already.. lol.. handphone can throw away. Coz no one sms now already.. ><"
Just wanna exchange a few sentences with some ppl that i regarded as my best pals, and what?
"you busy now ma" The answer will always be a YES.
" How come u nv put the pics i have taken with u ? And why still put those old pics still.. those u took with ur frens as msn pic?"
The answer : "I dont look gd in pic ma..you also ma"
* honestly speaking.. i dont think that is the worst pic i ever took.. i find it pretty nice though.*
So trying to imply that we are both ugly??? OR.. Trying to come up a few stupid excuses?? As for the last pal.. well.. i dont blame you.. coz i know you already have your "everything-bf"
Im now trying very hard to find a job.. spent half of the day writing resumes and sent it to many agencies.. hope this method works on me.. because today is a saturday.. perhaps i will get some notifications on monday at least? Hopefully.. I just wanna spend the rest of my life slogging hard for the sake of money. And.. also to keep myself occupied.. since there's not much in life that interests me anymore.
For some reasons.. i hate some ppl now..
P/S: Anyone who read the above sentence, plz do not have doubts if im referring to you. Im referring to those who neglected me.
*sigh...* I really hope that i will not feel so sad always.. I've tried not to think at all already.. But it just stays there.. as if it was glued on my mind by some UHU glue.
If you ever wanna ask me what i wish for a present, be it bdae present or whatever..
I just want something simple..
To feel happy.. have my freedom.. And get someone who wanna talk to me at least T.T
A true friend/confidante will do..
- evileen