Friday, November 21, 2008
If given a choice, I wouldn't want to be me. Hearing those heart-stabbing words from the mouth of a parent, I just feel like I'm a bastard. (No. If you're wondering if I'm a illegitimate child, I don't think I am.)
But my mind wanders. I can't help to think that way.
Just because I said something like, "wahh you're fully utilising me to the fullest" <-- Ok, be it that I'm 100% free or busy (like preparations for my exams), I get ticked off with, "If I have known this, I would have killed you before you're born." ( And halo?? Don't ever think I'm born with a silver spoon like everyone of you. No. I don't get allowance since 19 which is normal la haha. I work since I'm 16 k. AND I PAY FOR MY SCH FEES! Because I don't like oweing more obligations to people.) My blood is a 'B+'. Obviously, it's different from all my family members. They are 'A+' (parents) and 'O' (my brothers.). This always adds on to my suspicion if I really belong to this place. (Ok, stop thinking that I'm not a illegitimate child. >.<><" K.. Am I suffering from depression now? Sometimes my mind just turned so weak that I broken down and cried. I need a break man..
Should I follow the Taiwan President, Chen Sui Bian? -__- This seriously kills my appetite now..
- evileen
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
Today is going to be the day for my mock exam for corporate and business law. Sien ok.. Why moms cannot be understanding.. I don't understand why. Is it that old people are like these? I often hear old women talking on the train about negative things about others, like politics etc. Would they love it when people talks about them too? Just a general remark on old women.. What is it that makes them this way?
Every lil thing seems like a problem to them. But why. For those people who doesn't even bother about studying, because your school fees is paid by your parents, do you know how hard it is for me to study? I can't possibly go library, but fucking AMK doesn't allow that lol. And if i were to go downstairs, there are old women again ok.. gossipers.. and even lunatics and gangsters.. and at night you would probably hear them fighting.. And if i were to go to school and just for studying (which im kinda not comfortable with, like some people just looks at you as if you're some alien, yea i get that when on train.. especially OLD WOMEN again haha.) Yea.. for your info, my school have many myanmanese, quite eccentric people at times, but friendly for some. But I just finds it kinda uncomfortable when they keeps staring at your notes.. like every time you try to write something. (not that its something that missed from copy from the lecture's screen. its my own notes!)
Being niamed again today. Totally kills my mood for study. Not that I'm whining about it, but it just doesn't go to my brain anymore! Like there's a huge heavy lock there, that's forbidding any entrance or gists of informations.
$@^%$^@^@$^
My mood is already not that good these days, altho I don't really show it.. I know I have been going out but its all because of these reasons. I had have enough. Missing my favourite tv programmes.. (even if it's the last episode)... I need some fun too.. Ok I should try to squeeze some bits of company law in my brain now. Tata!
- evileen