Saturday, September 06, 2008
This shall be my ranting ground. So dont mind me. ( I hope no one will still link to this blog though.)
Sometimes I feel so angry that I could feel my blood vessels like really going to burst.
Like right now.. I seriously need some peace. Why is that dude playing the songs loudly from morning till now? And it's getting really fucked up. All the songs of Corrine May, WTF? And all those songs that really make you going to into a deadly sleep.
Ok, not to mention that he slams the door or whatever things when he got home. Whatever, I don't care. Mom told us not to touch certain food (that only he gets entitled to eating), ok I don't take that really to heart because I'm kinda used to it. And today I feel really fucked up. Why? It's because I just want some peace to myself. I tried studying. Yes. This sounds weird, but really I'm trying.
He keeps walking past the desk I was studying. Thats really irritating. Like, more than 10 times, but he actually had no purpose in walking to the kitchen? -_-"
Then I played PSP, and then I left it in "paused" mode when I needed the loo. Ya, he looked at it. I think he walked around the desk is just to look at my things -_-, probly wondering what school I'm studying in or modules?
Morning-
her: you dont touch the other things ok, didnt bring enough money earlier, so bought you yam cake.
(Dude, dont ever assume that people who bring not enough money is poor ok. Did you not bring enough money before? If you are assuming that, I tell you, I'm richer than you for sure. How's that?)
me: ok.
---
I had stomachache. I don't really mind to eat that even if i didnt have the stomachache. Serious.
But when she told me,
--
her: You eat this for now, later I buy something you prefer to eat. Want fishball noodle?
(No, because she alrdy bought it in the morning.)
me: No not that, I want wanton mee. (everyone knows thats my fave ok.)
--
She came back, with lots of stuff, helped her to clean and pack the eggs to the proper place.
Ok.. While I'm checkng my 'monetary stuff' (a secret.)
She asked me to go and eat lunch. Ok, then I saw that unwashed bowl with the wanton's veggie remaning and chilli on the table. Im really speechless ok.
Every single day, he leaves his bowls and plates on the table. But no one says anything.
He ate my only pack of wanton mee (not the first time alrdy- MANY TIMES ok), and I have to bear with the spicy londong despite my upset tummy.
-- Earlier She told me to get her something, and I said, "headache".
Because she heard it too often. She always presumed that I'm lying. Giving it as an excuse to skip the chores. WTH? And I get scolding, instead of getting concerned about. Ok, if I'm ever going to die soon, I won't tell anyone.
Headache could be due to the stress.. and specially that noise (songs) that has being playing for hours, like since.. 12pm+ to 6pm (which is now and yes, the songs are still playing.)
--
Whenever she buys lunch or dinner.. She would say things like, "let him choose first before you eat."
Or Im terribly starved......... She says, "I think he won't want to eat that, so you eat."
Oh so it's always giving in to him. But why?
---
A dysfunctional family like this, parents play a role too. If you hadn't been treating him the 'special' way, why would he become so arrogant until this day?
And we're being treated like this.
Sometimes when I'm upset with something that concerns her, I really would wonder if I really belong to the family.
Because my blood is a B+. My parents are A. My brothers are O.
So... I would often have wild imaginations, and end up feeling depressed on my own.
:D But oh well, I'm really feeling better after writing this entry.
Have a good weekend =) - to my readers.
- evileen