Sunday, April 15, 2007
19 years. 19 years and i feel that my life is about to end. I wonder if anyone would have the tolerance to endure this kind of psychological/physical torment.
I woke up in the morning. I brushed my teeth. As usual, my mom start scolding me for not getting a job. Its not that im not trying. I cant just possibly give all the jobs (even not the suitable ones) a try right? Im going to look for one that i can really work a long time.
Wasnt feeling well this morning. She told me not to touch that laptop( even though im the one bought it --> my brother should be the one owing her the money for it, coz he used my $$ in the past, so that could be bad debt as well ) , ok so i didnt for that while. Wanted to do the chores as usual ( maybe that will appease her for abit).
I was sitting on the sofa, listening to music from my mp3 player, and reading something. Then she called me into the room, and started scolding. And asked me to go read newspaper. -_-" I dont like to read newspaper in chinese de. The words are so hard to read on newspaper. They purposely use sophitiscated words instead of simpler words on newspaper. So hard to read.
So i went to on laptop, coz --> she's not happy with whatever im doing, i might as well do something that she still wont like, but i want :D Then -_- someone came and said the minister is coming. She got so worked up. I dont understand why. Not that the minister has done any evil deeds to her before in the past or whatever. "You'd better tell him that im not at home, and better dont ask him to come." Huh? Ask me to drive the minister away? "HEY you're not welcome here ok, pls go away." (Of course i wont be say that -_-)
She scolded me for a long time. I didnt ask the minister to come what -_-. And then she wanted me to say i have exams, then ok, i said i have exams --> if thats what make her appeased. THEN, minister came and said, "you're having exams? of? in?" Omg i also didnt know how to answer. She made me lie =(
Then after he left, she started scolding me again, "Why say you're having exams??"
-_- And bla bla bla bla bla, till i cant take it. I dont know what's on her mind. Like she wants you to do something, you do it, and she's never happy. Then start scolding you and even wanted to hit me -_-
Isnt this psychological/physical torment, what i've mentioned earlier?
Yesterday i watched a show on tv. The true files. I had a very strong opposition against the father in that true case. The one who murdered the daughter's fiance. She's 20+ le ba, and yet her father still wants to control her so much. Always scold and when she comes home late, he will @#%$^#@%$@$ alot. I dont go out much recently, and if i do, i dont really come home that late ba, maybe latest was 12am, but her father is very much like my mother.
Why would they want to be like this? Because they hate us or what? Or they think by doing this is the best way of bringing us up or just doing us "good"??? By not giving us space for our own stuff, by "caging" us, by giving no freedom. So what do they expect for the results of their doings? To have a healthy, cheerful, independent and quick-witted child huh?
Bullshit.
- evileen