memories_____

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Terrible week. I cant stop having doubts that i can pass the exams (though i always think like this, but this time i feel that its more intense). I did study! But.. somehow, i feel that everything is not enough, and i have been writing bullshit in the papers. I have been dwelling on it every single day. Out of house, inside the house, sleeping, dreaming, etc. I just cant help to think that Im going to flunk one of those papers. :( Will guan yin ma save me? I want to pass all. And i dont mind getting a D. It still looks beautiful to me. :(

When people start asking questions like, "So what are you going to do now that exams are over?" Seriously, i dont know what i will do. Maybe i will find a job, then i will try to earn some money. But i cant guarantee that i can graduate yet. :(

Kinda bored after the exams. Even though its over, like already 2 days for me, I still feel that it's not over yet! It's going to be chinese new year, and i dont know how im going to face my relatives. I bet they're going to ask me questions like, "So, you're going to graduate like maybe in march or april? ( I dont know when la)" And i wonder, what im going to do at their houses.. like watch tv all the way again? And i dont really like the idea of gambling (like have to pay money), but so far, i have never pay any cent of money yet. Even though the other time i lose quite a no. of games, my cousin's "dont know who", say he shouldnt take our money, then he returned the money. LOL! X_X If want to gamble and scare will lose, should find this type of people to play with.

For the past few days, i have been thinking of, if i were to die, how should i die ar? Sometimes i will think of stupid things. Like before, during, and after the exams, i was having a "fun" talk with sweety. Then before the exam paper, we were saying, "After they distributed the paper, imagine people start taking out banners from below their seats, and tear the paper into halves,, turn over the tables and hold on strike!!! Start a propaganda against exams." Then during the marketing paper, i was thinking, "How is the marker going to mark this?! Is he/she going to laugh/cry? Laugh -Because i really wrote bullshit. And the marker may think, "OMG, has this student sat for the right paper? Cry-Well, maybe the marker is bald. Qns no.5, is all about YunNam, then im "kinda mean" when writing my explaination for the question. I dont know is it correct or wrong. I wrote its not a very good way to direct market to these people. Because some of these people might have been to many places for treatment, and they would have "lost some confidence" like places for hair treatment. And, they feel inferior, so the advertisement must have something to tempt them so that they will find the urge to go since maybe they will get to win something, or a free hair treatment thingy, or get the treatment at a cheaper price. Like this, "WAH LAU! LAST TIME I WENT TO THAT PLACE HOR, SO EXPENSIVE! AND IT CANT SOLVE MY HAIR PROBLEMS. This one damn cheap, plus got offers, gifts, lucky draw, etc. Since this is cheaper and have more benefits, i dont mind giving it a try." Maybe i answered the question wrongly ba. Then IF the marker really have hair problems hor, die lor. Write wrongly>> plus, i sounded so "mean" in the paper. Marker's thoughts: "Wah lau this student dont give me face. I better dont give sympathy marks to this student. I should go back to qns 1, and see where i can deduct more marks. I make sure you die, student." (And i hope the marker is not bald or have hair problems X_X) Oh ya, back to the dying strategies. After the paper, (right now) Im still thinking how to tell my mom, "erm, maybe i wont be able to make it this round." But, its chinese new year leh. She's not letting me sleep long enough. She woke me up in the morning ( i slept about 5 hours), and said she wanted me to help her do chores. (Just now i did some already) My mom on the contrary, will always get upset, worried and panick during chinese new year. Isnt it supposed to be a "festive season", where you should be actually be joyful or enjoy? She always scold people during this time de. So today i will be better on my guard and try to be a nice person (though its kinda hard). So, since if i cant pluck up the courage to tell her, and i have been such a letdown, then maybe the only way will be to escape!

Some ways to die:

1. Bang the head against the wall till the head bleeds and die from blood cot and blood loss or something like that.

2. Drink something that is not drinkable like, Dynamo (for washing clothes), Jif (for washing dishes and stove or oily places), Shokobutsu (body bath foam), Pantene (shampoo), Garnier face cleanser,

3. Walk to a road, and run to the middle of the road when you see a incoming car. And stay right there!

4. Walks to the opposite block of my house, which is 28 storeys high. Choose a favourite number (from maybe 5 floors onwards to 28) and jump from that floor.

5. Find a knife that is sharp enough, and stab it right into the stomach, slit the wrist, or the neck.

6. Bite the tongue!

7. Make my mom angry and die by the chopper.

Yea, thats some of the ways that i have thought of.

This pic looks like me or not ar? XD

Advent saw this pic on his friend's msn and said, "LEEN! I found something that looks like you!"

And his friend kindly sent me the link for making this doll ^^ The website is:

http://elouai.com/doll-makers/new-dollmaker.php

Very cute de! You can choose face shape, eyes, mouth, nose, hairstyle, clothes, and the background :D

And i made the followings:

And on Valentine's day hor, i saw my brother bringing back alot of chocolates and sweets stuff. Then i saw this very cute thingy.

So cute and funny! xDxD

Its soft fruit gum, with prints of piggy. I mean you can also feel the shape de. xD

And.. yesterday went to Toa Payoh and trimmed my hair. It's my first time getting a haircut from a guy. Coz its chinese new year soon, so they raised the price by $3. Their haircut is not bad! Quite good :D But i think the the lady cut de is more skilled. So i have gotten my haircut, :D and reduced some portions of my mom's naggings, for telling me off to get a haircut.

After that, sweety they all needed one more person to dine at the Sakae Sushi for the buffet. So i was asked along :D My mom didnt want me to go out, she wanted to go out too, and she said that she's afraid that the mandarin oranges will go bad when the house is completely close -.-" So, i waited for her to come back and joined sweety they all at about 4.30pm. OMG! Like i didnt eat enough you know. The buffet thingy ends at 6pm. Then when i reached there and joce clicked alot of orders for me, but all never come -.-" not a single plate of sushi that i ordered. But i ate some other stuff hmm.. but $15, for those, Im at the losing end hor :(

Then we went to PS, and we played the pianos. xD I played the front part of the wedding march and recorded inside one of those keyboards LOL!

Then we all headed to esplanade, joined some of theirs friends, and "drank" Vodka raspberry flavoured (share with sweety). And didnt join them for the game coz i was wearing skirt dont want to sit on the floor X_X. So me and sweety borrowed the ipod from jocelyn and watched scary movie for a lil awhile. Then sweety and me headed home at around 11.30pm. And can't find the MRT station! LOL! Asked 3 groups of passerbys, then we finally found it. ><"

Went home late and sweety and me got scoldings from mama :(

her: "You chee bye"

me: "On the train reaching le"

her: "On the train reaching home?! You chee bye, I make sure you die when you come back home and strip you naked"

-.-

P/S: You think she will do that? LOL!

- evileen

Saturday, February 17, 2007

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