Saturday, February 17, 2007
Terrible week. I cant stop having doubts that i can pass the exams (though i always think like this, but this time i feel that its more intense). I did study! But.. somehow, i feel that everything is not enough, and i have been writing bullshit in the papers. I have been dwelling on it every single day. Out of house, inside the house, sleeping, dreaming, etc. I just cant help to think that Im going to flunk one of those papers. :( Will guan yin ma save me? I want to pass all. And i dont mind getting a D. It still looks beautiful to me. :(
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When people start asking questions like, "So what are you going to do now that exams are over?" Seriously, i dont know what i will do. Maybe i will find a job, then i will try to earn some money. But i cant guarantee that i can graduate yet. :(
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Kinda bored after the exams. Even though its over, like already 2 days for me, I still feel that it's not over yet! It's going to be chinese new year, and i dont know how im going to face my relatives. I bet they're going to ask me questions like, "So, you're going to graduate like maybe in march or april? ( I dont know when la)" And i wonder, what im going to do at their houses.. like watch tv all the way again? And i dont really like the idea of gambling (like have to pay money), but so far, i have never pay any cent of money yet. Even though the other time i lose quite a no. of games, my cousin's "dont know who", say he shouldnt take our money, then he returned the money. LOL! X_X If want to gamble and scare will lose, should find this type of people to play with.
For the past few days, i have been thinking of, if i were to die, how should i die ar? Sometimes i will think of stupid things. Like before, during, and after the exams, i was having a "fun" talk with sweety. Then before the exam paper, we were saying, "After they distributed the paper, imagine people start taking out banners from below their seats, and tear the paper into halves,, turn over the tables and hold on strike!!! Start a propaganda against exams." Then during the marketing paper, i was thinking, "How is the marker going to mark this?! Is he/she going to laugh/cry? Laugh -Because i really wrote bullshit. And the marker may think, "OMG, has this student sat for the right paper? Cry-Well, maybe the marker is bald. Qns no.5, is all about YunNam, then im "kinda mean" when writing my explaination for the question. I dont know is it correct or wrong. I wrote its not a very good way to direct market to these people. Because some of these people might have been to many places for treatment, and they would have "lost some confidence" like places for hair treatment. And, they feel inferior, so the advertisement must have something to tempt them so that they will find the urge to go since maybe they will get to win something, or a free hair treatment thingy, or get the treatment at a cheaper price. Like this, "WAH LAU! LAST TIME I WENT TO THAT PLACE HOR, SO EXPENSIVE! AND IT CANT SOLVE MY HAIR PROBLEMS. This one damn cheap, plus got offers, gifts, lucky draw, etc. Since this is cheaper and have more benefits, i dont mind giving it a try." Maybe i answered the question wrongly ba. Then IF the marker really have hair problems hor, die lor. Write wrongly>> plus, i sounded so "mean" in the paper. Marker's thoughts: "Wah lau this student dont give me face. I better dont give sympathy marks to this student. I should go back to qns 1, and see where i can deduct more marks. I make sure you die, student." (And i hope the marker is not bald or have hair problems X_X) Oh ya, back to the dying strategies. After the paper, (right now) Im still thinking how to tell my mom, "erm, maybe i wont be able to make it this round." But, its chinese new year leh. She's not letting me sleep long enough. She woke me up in the morning ( i slept about 5 hours), and said she wanted me to help her do chores. (Just now i did some already) My mom on the contrary, will always get upset, worried and panick during chinese new year. Isnt it supposed to be a "festive season", where you should be actually be joyful or enjoy? She always scold people during this time de. So today i will be better on my guard and try to be a nice person (though its kinda hard). So, since if i cant pluck up the courage to tell her, and i have been such a letdown, then maybe the only way will be to escape!
Some ways to die:
1. Bang the head against the wall till the head bleeds and die from blood cot and blood loss or something like that.
2. Drink something that is not drinkable like, Dynamo (for washing clothes), Jif (for washing dishes and stove or oily places), Shokobutsu (body bath foam), Pantene (shampoo), Garnier face cleanser,
3. Walk to a road, and run to the middle of the road when you see a incoming car. And stay right there!
4. Walks to the opposite block of my house, which is 28 storeys high. Choose a favourite number (from maybe 5 floors onwards to 28) and jump from that floor.
5. Find a knife that is sharp enough, and stab it right into the stomach, slit the wrist, or the neck.
6. Bite the tongue!
7. Make my mom angry and die by the chopper.
Yea, thats some of the ways that i have thought of.
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This pic looks like me or not ar? XD
Advent saw this pic on his friend's msn and said, "LEEN! I found something that looks like you!"
And his friend kindly sent me the link for making this doll ^^ The website is:
http://elouai.com/doll-makers/new-dollmaker.phpVery cute de! You can choose face shape, eyes, mouth, nose, hairstyle, clothes, and the background :D
And i made the followings:
And on Valentine's day hor, i saw my brother bringing back alot of chocolates and sweets stuff. Then i saw this very cute thingy.
So cute and funny! xDxD
Its soft fruit gum, with prints of piggy. I mean you can also feel the shape de. xD
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And.. yesterday went to Toa Payoh and trimmed my hair. It's my first time getting a haircut from a guy. Coz its chinese new year soon, so they raised the price by $3. Their haircut is not bad! Quite good :D But i think the the lady cut de is more skilled. So i have gotten my haircut, :D and reduced some portions of my mom's naggings, for telling me off to get a haircut.
After that, sweety they all needed one more person to dine at the Sakae Sushi for the buffet. So i was asked along :D My mom didnt want me to go out, she wanted to go out too, and she said that she's afraid that the mandarin oranges will go bad when the house is completely close -.-" So, i waited for her to come back and joined sweety they all at about 4.30pm. OMG! Like i didnt eat enough you know. The buffet thingy ends at 6pm. Then when i reached there and joce clicked alot of orders for me, but all never come -.-" not a single plate of sushi that i ordered. But i ate some other stuff hmm.. but $15, for those, Im at the losing end hor :(
Then we went to PS, and we played the pianos. xD I played the front part of the wedding march and recorded inside one of those keyboards LOL!
Then we all headed to esplanade, joined some of theirs friends, and "drank" Vodka raspberry flavoured (share with sweety). And didnt join them for the game coz i was wearing skirt dont want to sit on the floor X_X. So me and sweety borrowed the ipod from jocelyn and watched scary movie for a lil awhile. Then sweety and me headed home at around 11.30pm. And can't find the MRT station! LOL! Asked 3 groups of passerbys, then we finally found it. ><"
Went home late and sweety and me got scoldings from mama :(
her: "You chee bye"
me: "On the train reaching le"
her: "On the train reaching home?! You chee bye, I make sure you die when you come back home and strip you naked"
-.-
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P/S: You think she will do that? LOL!
- evileen
Friday, February 09, 2007
Im still down with flu. =( And so "paiseh" to blow my nose "da da fang fang" in the class. xD Till after one hour during the paper, i wanted to go toilet and blow my nose all out. Damn shiok! WHAHAHA! xD
Dont know if i can make it through for the paper =( it looks tough to me and i really dont know what im writing. Though mom have made me drink the bottle of chicken essence (at first i didnt want to drink coz i scare my nose will bleed), i still feel sleepy during the paper. XD Oh my god, first time like that X_X.
After the paper, felt kinda freed but worried =(. Really wonder how well i will do. I really hope i can pass, on the account that i didnt really play for so long. X_X And, after the paper (^_^) went shopping with sweety and finally bought a pair of new shoes. My feet is like hobbits'feet, so its very hard for me to find a pair of shoes that can actually fit me. Then sweety saw this shop and we looked and i think the prices are pretty reasonable, and what amazed me is that the shoes there are really big! So, thats how i got my new shoes xDxD. Quite nice and suit my new year clothes outfit. xD So i dont have to worry about buying shoes already (for now). YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
<(^(OO)^)>
- evileen
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Actually i wrote paragraphs of words yesterday.When i clicked on "Publish", then ><" blogger didnt make it through for me. Woke up at 3pm yesterday and my mom was still $#^#^ about that day, about me prioritising washing my water bottle, and then washing her dirty cloth.
Ok, i dont know why she has to $##^# about that for that like for days. Then im sick, i was terribly sick that day like almost dying already ><". And the fever was so high, like for the whole entire day, despite me drinking tonnes of water.
Plus.. the neighbours, the aunty is so noisy everyday! And, shuang jian he bi, together with the cries and screams of the baby ><", its so disturbing!!!
XD but im kinda happy when... (evil grin)
The aunty came out and grumbled loudly about something, that is obviously inferring about that neighbour next door of hers. Then that neighbour came out shortly after that. Then said something like so noisy and always making so much noise. XD The aunty actually became quieter, (but still noisy la), X_x" maybe she agreed with what that neighbour say about her too, but the aunty loves to act cute alot huh xD
X_X She's getting
ALL my attention. Noise factor: Her and the baby.
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And people has been wanting me to be dead fast, move out fast, and ><" ya do so many things.
Im feeling very pissed off most of the time especially this week, and still feeling unwell. Cant even taste food! But I'd better calm down or else i get another high fever again -.-"
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Oh yea, maybe my mom can go and shoot the movie, "The Grudge", since she has so many grudges against me :(
- evileen
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Grr.. Have been coughing quite badly yesterday, especially when sleeping at night. So itchy inside the throat :(
And today woke up with sore throat ><", and my whole body is starting to ache all over.
Maybe the virus is floating around the house. Since one of my brothers has been sick for days, and my mom is complaining she has this and that.
T.T Nooo i dont want to get sick too.
- evileen
Monday, February 05, 2007
Yay!! Just now my kor came back with my mp3 fixed, and know what they gave me?!
New earphones, pouch, cable, and alot of wires, LOL!
They have changed the harddisk drive xD. And still give so many things, very generous hor? xD
So happy now ^^
My mp3 player is back! Wee!!! ^^
- evileen
Today overheard a conversation between the hairdresser and my mom, they were talking in hokkien about kids nowadays. They said that kids are getting smarter and smarter, like they know how/what to retaliate when they are being given a hard question. But most of that response seems to me, like more of a rebel would answer. Not saying that I'm smarter than them or whatever, but IF, i were to respond like those kids when i was small, my mom would have given me a tight slap, or have given me a "cha kueh tiao" when i get home. I was being called an idiot in the past, lol i dont know why, but it's somehow contradicting. So, what does those parents(erm, well i mean my mom) actually want?! So i'd rather keep my mouth shut, than getting a tight slap for being too honest, when i was a small kid. They even thought i was a mute! Or rather audistic..
P/S: Yea, i do agree kids are getting smarter these days. But they're illustrating it in the wrong way. Giving rebellious response doesnt mean that they are smarter or whatever. I can do it better than them! xD
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Then the baby next door is also "rebellious" in a way. And the grandma, was hitting her or scolding her or something. Then my mom seems to be very worked up when she talked about it, and she said, "How can she hit the baby?!"
Then i thought to myself, "But would she think the same if the baby was me?"
I asked her if she had ever hit me when i was a baby. This is what she said, "I didnt even have a chance to hit you when you're a baby! You were so quiet and inactive."
Hmm so is that supposed to be good or? Like being inactive is a bad thing.. but not being hit as a baby is a good thing i guess.
- evileen
Sunday, February 04, 2007
Distracted + Bored + Kinda pissed off (got a scolding for sleeping late)
So i drew this with paint. The colors are not exact though. But almost there. XD Im going to wear this on cny.
Plus this skirt. This is the one that costs only $20 with a belt, and the quality is good.
- evileen
Arrr!!!!
So distracting!
Look at the pic above. Imagine you're the one sitting at the desk. (situated in the middle of the living room, where everyone walks to and fro) Grrr..
T.T
- evileen
Saturday, February 03, 2007
Bro has sent my Zen Neon for repair le. They say that the hard disk spoilt, so i guess they're going to give me a new one :D It's going to 3 working days before i can get it back.
And now im trying to study, im seated in the living room. As there's no room of my own, the only place i can study is the living room. (Not that my house doesnt have enough rooms, but 1 one them is taken up by the old bitch, the master bedroom), so imagine 3 rooms in total, one taken up by her, one taken up by one bro, and the rest to squeeze in another room /hmm
My mom is walking to and fro, in the house. I guess she's going out to buy something. This is very very very very distracting, as i can get easily annoyed if someone try shouting for no reason(like my neighbour), and seeing someone infront of me, makes it more distracting. To meditate must be alone ma XD
- evileen
Friday, February 02, 2007
Went shopping with sweety today hehe xD
I've bought:
- 2 skirts : one is brown skirt, another one is jeans skirt (but got pattern de)
- 1/2 length pants (dirty green, abit of furyy texture)
- 1 top (its like a white color shirt inside, then outside is like got spaghetti strip, in black and white stripes, behind got opening de XD)
- 1 belt ( quite nicely designed xD)
All just at the costs of $96!
><" im so bored.
- evileen
Thursday, February 01, 2007
Evileen wants to be listened to, to talk to, to bitch to.
Seems that the whole world is too busy for her.
Thy shall be alone.
- evileen