Tuesday, January 30, 2007
lol 2nd post for the day, I did go to school. Reached at about 4pm. And then i went to find my friend celissa, and then i told her i didnt study at all. And she was saying that i shouldn't have come to school. LOL. Then i was so tempted not to go for the retest since she said i shouldn't go. Coz the teacher might take the current marks and that going for the retest might be a losing end for me. So.. Yea I went home.
Before i got to school. My brother wanted to send my mom for checkup. And then i was thinking if he could send me to the MRT station which is nearby my house (for a car, it is fast, but i were to walk, i will be half dead by then) So he actually went to the wrong route. And dropped me at a bus stop instead. He was #@$&#%& at me. I didnt say i want a lift (though i really really need it, :( its so far away from my house) After i got out of the car, and went to library to find my friend. He sent me a msg, to scold me again. Everytime i get a free lift from my brother, i will get a scolding from him. So, I guess i shouldnt sit in his car anymore. (-_-")
Right in the car, he was #@#%$ at me. Then my mom was seated infront. She was scolding him for scolding me, and told him off, "What would you feel if you were her?" And i just kept quiet behind. Like, I thought it would be nice to have a lift to a nearby place. I mean its not really that difficult/far to drop me at that MRT station. My father used to drop us there in the past when me and brother was going to school. I wished i didnt step in the car in the beginning for today. So, maybe i wont ever again. -_-
I could have been thinking too much these days. I actually thought sweety was ignoring me. LOL. I spammed her phone but she replied only at a very much later time. But im glad that she replied, i was thinking what's happening to her and i was thinking if she was trying to ignore me even (having all the possibilities on my mind)
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Sometimes i wish i could silence the people next door. The aunty, her son, the baby = NOISE POLUTION!
Its making me more and more hot tempered, because hearing crowds or noises like this made me get headaches every now and then. And plus my mom was nagging, sometimes i wish that i could have a button maybe? Like there's a switch beside it just like how the switches are being placed in your room, like just beside the door. Yea, i wish there are switches beside my ears (invisible ones) where i can actually on/off noise, and filter it like maybe Internet Explorer, and maybe get an "Ear Defender", only hear the good words/sounds.
Every single day!! Every single day, the baby cries and all, but i can't really blame the baby, but my mom said i was a quiet baby, she didnt even had a chance to slap me when i was a baby, she even thought i was a mute, or maybe audistic until maybe near 4 then i started talking. XD The baby is not the only contributing factor to the noise pollution. ><" I think her grandma is noisier than her. Like as if its a big deal to have a baby in the house, so what if you have a baby?! xD
And, my mom loves to complain about the neighbour. But sometimes when she's complaining to me, i think its quite funny, or a lil cute. Like how she described the scenario, plus the talkings. One example is: She was trying to open the door, wanting to clean the corridor, and then (like what she said) "the kiapo one" (busybody) immediately opened the door when she heard my mom opening the door. So my mom quickly close the door, so the neighbour who immediately opened the door when she opened, wouldnt have a chance to ask her anything.
And my mom came up with a list of possible questions that the neighbour might ask:
Your son bought a car?...Your son working?...Daughter working already?...Where did you go yesterday?....etc
Then the neighbour even asked about me! -.- I was told by my mom that the neighbour saw me in formal wear(have to wear it for school presentations), and she asked my mom, "So eileen is working now already?"
Like imagine everyday, you're going out, there's someone at the window watching you. Every movement, the clothes you wear, the things you're carrying. Everything she wants to know. Stalker!!! ARR!!!
Then this morning my mom was complaining about my brother. Saying that he's busybody, wanting to fetch her to like everywhere, and wants to touch the godess status that she just bought. ><" (ok for that thing, we took like maybe 30mins, just to tie the box, coz ><" she's not happy with the tie) And i was really annoyed with that thing, she gave me cold stare for helping her, and then i dont really know what she wants actually.
(Note: You need to have high EQ to be her daughter/son, she doesnt name what she wants, she will give you cold stare, and fierce looks if you still hadnt have the idea what she wants. So you have to take very very very close observation. For instance, like if she lift her finger. And then pointing at the windows, mean yea you have to open/close it. If she say she wants something, she will really say "something" she wont name it, you have to guess what is the something, and then bring it to her.)
Then, there's one part, i started to get annoyed with what she's saying, plus all the noises from next door.
her: You know your bro, im sure he will bring it down, and the hands of the god is so delicate i scare he will break it. And i think you're using too much force to carry it, if it breaks im gonna kill you.
me: Huh? but i didnt really that much force, if i didnt use any force at all, then the thing will drop! and I dont think he will actually be so busybody. to climb up and take that down and just to look at it?!
her: why not? Dont you know he's a busybody? He wants to know everything.
me: Well, im not really into gods stuff. I guess he wont really be that interested as in so curious about it. (i dont hate god, i believe in them. But my brother is still young, and i dont think people at our age will be totally curious in god yet. Normally only old people starts to get spiritual - everything is about god.)
her: *getting worked up* #%&#%&#%#&%& HOW CAN YOU NOT BELIEVE IN IT? WITHOUT GOD THERE'S NO YOU!
*Bashing me up* lol
me: so why tell me all these? Its not like "busybody" is a disease, and not that im a doctor who can heal it or cure it.
her: *giggling* If there's a cure for it.. then can you heal the person next door first please?
Sometimes i do get evil. Like in the morning i was watching a video on youtube, my friends say that seems like a bitch and i wanted to comment on it, a bad one. -_- then it prompt me to give my email address. I just want to be evil as an anonymous XD. Why cant they let me??
Enough of my crapping. Thats all for the day. XD
- evileen
Yay! I've finally finished all my presentations for school! For the IBS bit, i didn't really prepare much, so I guess I'm already contented with a B-. Partly because i had already presented like almost everything the previous time, and this time i brought the same stuff for yesterday's presentation, so its nothing new or special for the tutor. Just a few new ppt slides thats all.
Feel very "sian" recently. I haven't even finished shopping for my new year clothes!! Time flies. Wonder when i can find the time to shop. ><" Actually my mom wants me to shop today, but i have to go to school for ECD retest though its only short of 2 marks for the whole weightage for the test, but i guess i should give it a try.
I wonder what i will do after i graduate from poly. Hadn't really thought of it yet. Maybe i should go and work and get a degree or something? ><" But i'm sure given my family financial status, I can't really further my studies now :( plus my rotten results.
And yesterday was wondering what happened to wy last night. Me and siti was quite worried for her. Wy didnt reply my msg or answer the phone when siti tried to call her. And this morning.. It turns out to be she's sleeping!(She msg me this morning) LOL! And now, why she didnt reply again. Is she sleeping again? o.O
Im sooo tempted not to go to school. Everyone doesn't have to go to school today. And i have to go back for the stupid ECD retest. Should i go or should i not? /hmm
- evileen
Saturday, January 27, 2007
Took part for napfa with wanyu, jiexuan, angelia and jocelyn. Me, wanyu and jiexuan has already intended to fail the napfa before even starting. I got the worst score of them all, didnt really care about what i have scored, but we ran for about 3 rounds on the track for 2.4km run, and we dropped out.
Cant help to feel that something is amiss recently. Everything seems unreal, or is it i have been thinking too much? This has always been happening to me. Informing me only after i learnt of it. Next time can everyone inform me about something first before i get to know the truth myself? Thanks. I dont wish to have the feeling to be kept always in the dark.
- evileen
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Yay! Evileen is back to blogging. Has been lazing for so long huh?
I have no idea what happened to the previous tagboard. The userid was found to be invalid. Maybe they doesnt like the speech in there? lol
The last semester of school is going to end soon. Time really flies, just like in a twitch of an eye, and you see exams are around the corner :(
Yesterday is history. Today is present. The future is a mystery.
But things that already took place seem as if it just took place a moment ago. For many times i was having a mixed of feelings; anger, sadness, happiness, confusion, suspicion, and fear.
Yesterday was kinda funny. I sat in the car my brother was driving. He kept peeking at my expression. And here goes the conversation (though its not exact words) :
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him: Are you scared?
me: Yea.. Very. :S
him: Why??
me: I dont know.. Just scared?
him: Why are you scared? Can you give me some feedback please for my driving skills? It rocks ok.
me: *paused*
me: Err.....Hey.. We're on the road, you're driving. :S:S
---
Sometimes, yea i feel creeps when my brother was driving. Like it can just stop so suddenly. If it werent in time.. then lol.. i might not be here typing. Seeing him drive were as if im driving a go-kart in escape theme park. :( If anyone doesnt know what happened to me on that go-kart, I crashed at the downturn :( ( The slope was very very very steep ok.. Then the road wants you to turn to your utmost right like so instantly)
And, now i realise why is that i always get last in position with my friend in Daytona. My car in the game doesnt even move. Thats because i always have a bad habit of stepping on both the accelerator and the brake pedals. (Left leg on brake, Right leg on accelerator, stepping on them at the same time.)
So the moral behind these stories, is err, never touch a car for i will be accounted for the death of many innocent. :(
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And for the sad part.. I was feeling down. Especially to what happened to my cousins' family. They have to lie to their grandma who was dying that their mom was on a oversea trip. ( Did that make the mother think that the daughter is enjoying herself, like when she's dying? Will she feel sad?) It was a white lie. A white lie that could save her from tears for a short while. Their mom had to go for a surgery. How would a dying mother feel when you know that your child is having a bad time?
I was so freaked out when my brother told me about the part they have taken out. They even cut it into halves? X_x That's even gross. And they took pictures of it.. and yea.. i guess it was bloody, very. I went to visit her, and i was feeling so sorry for her, and with another someone. What can i do? I dont know what should i do to help. Their mom wanted to show me the pictures X_x but i think it was kinda rude of me of rejecting it. Although i can accept horror movies and gross scenes in movies. But i cant accept things like this that are happening in a real world.
Have you ever wondered, if anything that has ocurred is it for real or what? Sometimes its too bad/good to be true, that you cant even bring yourself to believe it? Will the feelings be the same if you experienced it yourself, or just by hearing it? Maybe some will think that what you're always saying is always a joke to them. How would you feel when someone said "haha" if you're saying something that is very depressing (maybe a person's death)? Or, they dont even bother about what you're saying. How would you feel?
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Wonders of life: The tale of ABC
It's story-telling time!
A has a bunch of good friends. She likes to be around with them. Always making her feeling blessed to have them as friends. But still, the ones that were found to be closest to her is B and C. (Haha! Coz you see how the alphabetical order goes, its A.. then B then followed by C ma)
"ABC tiger beer" always hangout together, they're always together. They shit, they eat, they play together. (Cool huh?)
But things started to change. ( i mean yea really alot ya) Like how the way C answers to A's questions. And when C asks A's questions, C doesnt really like A's answers. B also have the same answers as A, but C dont like it. So she complained to D, that B and C was ignoring her questions.(A didnt know it till a long time after)
1st incident:-
A: Someone died
C: haha
A: =.="
C: Oh.. is real? Sorry sorry.
2nd incident:-
A: T.T Crying now
C: ^.^
A: T.T why so happy
C: Coz i like it, cry more kays?
A: Why??
C: Coz you're crying
A: ... Are you kidding? Fine.
C: ^_^
*silence*
C: Sorry sorry.
3rd incident:-
A: Im feeling so sad.
C: Im busy now ok. Im doing something.
A: Oh.. ok..
A: *mumbling about her sadness* (for a long period)
*Mr C comes into the scene, talking to A*
C to MR C: HONEY!
A: ...
A: Werent you.. busy? But Im sad.. like no one is listening to me..
*going off from the scene*
(after a long while)
C to A: Hey, im not ignoring you. I was just busy ok?
(So if you were A, would you want talk to C? No right? Yea, so A was cold to C till the following night. They started talking already like as usual.)
(at 1am that very night when things were already working out well)
MR C: Oh well.. my hun is sad..
A: Whys that?
MR C: Well you havent forgiven her, have you? She said she's sad coz you havent forgiven her.
A: Eh? Forgive..?
MR C: Ya.. I guess she's really feeling very sad now from the way she said it
-
A: I have heard from MR C.. about that.. (thinking that she must be really sorry even though things were already fine)
C: Im going off now.
A: Oh.. cya..
C: I dont know how to face you.
*logs off*
-
The next day..
B: Hey C gave me a msg last night like in the morning 1am. She asked me to reply her asap, for advice, and she said you're really very angry.
A: Eh? But i thought things are already fine? Im talking to her!
B: Well i dont know..
-
A: So what did C tell you?
MR C: Erm.. she didnt talk to you coz she didnt hear it
A:...
-
A: I guessed she must have talked to you about something.
MR A: Yup
A: So.. what did she say?
MR A: She said when her honey came she wasnt busy anymore. So she talked to him.
A: -_-"
-
A wasnt angry anymore. But like after hearing these ridiculous stuff. The thermometer in her is going to break. Coz it has hit above 100 degrees celsius. You know those fake leatherbags. Yea they use fake materials to cover it up. And it looks so convincing.. so real.. people will buy it. Just like C's stories. But they aint real anyway.
-
(A with MR AA)
C: Bored.
B: Whys that?
C: Dont disturb you both.
A: Join us.
C: Okays.
(after C joined A with her MR AA)
-
C: If only.. everything can start anew just like a new day. Where all the past will be forgotten, and i can be forgiven of my past.
(*kept saying this till A very -_-"*)
MR AA: Well.. what past have you got? Why do you ask to be forgiven? There's none, right?
C: Thats a relief to hear that from MR AA.. well A..I got it.
(well A doesnt know how to make it clear to C that there's really nothing wrong so A confronted C)
*after a few hours, things are fine again*
4th incident:-
*A was together with MR AA, MR A, and C*
(seeing C sitting so close to MR A)
A: Do you have to sit that close to her?
MR A: No. It wasn't me who wants to sit close.
(Mr A moving away from C and sits close to A.)
(C moves at the same time, and move close to MR A again.)
A: OMG.
MR A: She's the one trying to get close to me!!
( and it repeats again for a few times)
-
The next day MR A told A..
MR A: She told me you would be angry when she's sitting close to me.
"I can feel C's anger towards me. Right now im sitting close to you."
A: ...So why does she sit near u still? ><"
***
IF anyone of you think that im having weird msn nicks of some sort.. Just look at the ABC story here. Ok.. its for the C. Dont keep asking who is C ok. It can be imaginary. It can also be real. And C will know what she's doing. And A knows what C is trying to do ok. C dont assume that A dont know anything. And C stop asking everyone if the A doesnt like you or whatever. If you think A dont like you, then means dont like lor. Then you must have done something wrong that make her think that way right? And stop trying to get close to MR A, for goodness sake. Thanks.
If you feel any guilt, or if you think the C in the story sounds like you, then you're C lor. Its not my fault. Im not mentioning any names here. And, i didnt force anyone to read this. Apart from that, this is my blog. I can write whatever things i like. So have no critics or whatever. Because it will only be your own problem, and not mine. Please understand that. :D
- evileen