Friday, September 30, 2005
Yeah.. Finally solved the probs in my com already. Except that this blog editor page is not properly on my IE now. Erm.. but then.. can still blog.. But i dont see a problem then. As this problem is only seen on the Blogger's Website.
Managed to run diskeeper:
Run>>"services.msc">>a window pops up then choose diskeeper, properties,"enable" and "start".
Manage to get back an account from unknown account. By right should do the following steps:
1. Run diskeeper.
2. Run spywares scan (for noob users: LavaSoft Ad-aware,Spybot,CWshredder and for advanced users: HiJackThis)
3. Run "chkdsk /f /r" type "Y" when they ask you for a check disk when system reboot. Upon restarting, there will be a blue screen running a disk scan.It will take quite a while. They will show you the files in bad sector.
My blog, still got the problem. Haiz. You can only understand it when you see it. Hard to explain anyways.
- evileen
Bad news.. my com some probs now.
1. Unknown account now in bad sector. Did the chkds /f /r
but scan so long..><" still the same.
2. Cannot use lappy to blog. Weird.. Need something
3. Third party progs intruded into my lappy.
Gotta do some com hw again Haiz..
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I got a job now. It's quite a famous company? It's Taylor Nelson. My position as temporary interviewer. Pay rate : $6/hr . Starting on next monday at 6pm to 9.30pm just to familiarise myself with the place i think . Gotta report to the operations director. Then thereafter have to meet the managers and directors, was what explained to me.
Yesterday was a really shopping spree for aining.. Met her friend, Yilee and brought us inside to the "private sales" of the Isetan. Imagine.. meet aining at 1pm.. Then went to look for the office of my agent, Tower A for the 2pm appointment. And then did some fill-in particulars stuff, and from there, we shop all the way till 10pm. Gosh.. LoLx.. And aining stop reproaching yourself, i dont feel bored anyway just that.. =X You Girls Can Really Shop! LoLz!! aining promised to go out with me more often /gg i'll hold u for that =P
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Today was supposed to meet up for a badminton session with Jes, Yune n peiyi... But none is free.. ><" Excited for nothing.. Thought maybe i can pass the cd to them too.. Haiz.. So as usual, meeting cancelled.
I feel so drifted from some friends. I hate this.. but there's nothing i can do to salvage the situation. When we're online, there's imply no topic that we can talk now. This is very sad.. This goes to show.. something?
And.. one friend told me this.. but meant another.. Was like so contradicting? I feel so cheated sometimes.. For you lying to me.. But i wont point out the problem to you anyways. Maybe if *you* read this.. you will understand..Im referring to *you*. you lied to me that I'm..
Oh well.. i think all of you are behaving like a stranger to me. I dont feel as comfortable as before already. Sometimes.. i really wonder.. how come those people who never know about me, or those online friends.. or one friend that i made two years ago at POPULAR can be more concerned about me than you people.. A frequent msn message or a simple sms to ask how im doing .. will just be fine.. But.. All of you nv.. Im really disappointed. I wonder if ppl ask for me , only when im needed? Some people even ask me to go out.. even though im not close to them.. At least they missed me.. T.T but you all dont..
One of you doesnt want to talk to me much i know. When i ask if you are busy You will just give me one word YES. I dont know if you did that on purpose or you are still holding any grudges against me ><" for what hell have i done.
If you are going to be like this forever, I will not try to give in to you again. I'll just let things be the same. Since you expect things to be like that. There's nothing more i can do.
Good thing I have found a job on my own. I've learnt something. True.. many people told me, "If you wanna get a job, get it on your own. Dont call any friends or whosoever to help you." Ya.. I have so many friends..very indecisive..><" Havent find a job yet halfway will already say "SIAN"...Some people are like that.. or should i say.. MANY.. are like that.. wishy-washy..Dragging the friends of theirs onto the same boat; jobless.
I wonder.. when will be the next time i hang out again..Nobody will bother about my whereabouts.. No one will care if im alive.. I live fopr the sake of my green dinosaur /gg so nice to hug them all~ I will feel so relaxed and consoled. Because they will always be there for me..(If you have completely no idea what im talking about, im referring to the "zoo of toys" at home*
- evileen
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
God you are bad.. You gave me mood swings. No.. Not that ><"
People make me angry.. then i feel sad.. And then i feel happy.. and excited..in just seconds!
My bro found out im trying host server for a game, then he not happie.. Wanna frame me, wanna shoot me in his words, "LEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!"
*sms-ing stupid cousin, tell ya what that cousin sent me, later ><"*
idiot:"WAH LAU EH SO MANY TIMES DON COME THEN FORGET IT."
the mom: "STUPID LA
#$@#$## EILEEN YOU ARE @$#
#$@#$@#!!! HE WANNA HELP YOU SEE CLASSIFIEDS THEN YOU DONT COME"
idiot:" YA LA! PLAY PLAY PLAY!! ONLY PLAY! NVM.. I DONT HELP YOU LA!"
the mom: "CAO JI BYE.."
*hopes my readers dont mind, the exacts word*
me: "Hanah.. call call call.. think im maid meh, i need to do my stuff nv play hor!"
And then later in msn,
"Hey leen on leh.. i wan play."
"okie.. wait ar.."
*after awhile*
"okie le.."
"Eh.. cannot leh.. you bluff me"
"huh..? i thought on le?"
*starts to suspect... the doings of the brother..And she was right.*
*What she saw.. really gave her shock.. making her feel both angry and sad, as if blooding is gushing all the way right up to her brain.*
*******************************************************************************
Routers settings page:
*no ports*
(means the bro del all her ports ><" she forwarded for the server, even those not for server , by default de ports><")
[for your info, i bought the router $200 with my own money, somemore, he still owes me money, you can count in thousands.]
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And then she kept trying all the ports.. again an again then on the server..
Server status, still offline.
And then, she ammended some parts.. then TaDa!!~
* And she dont feel so sad already, but still abit angry.*
anyway..no matter how he del the ports, she can still open and forward them /gg so she will take it as a practice. He knows nuts about these stuff. The only thing he know i think is to "Reset". >.<"
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ThE PaRt aBouT SmS FroM mY "BeLoVeD GodLy bRoTheR/CouSiN"
><"
Always sms me those "wu-liao" qns, in other words, qns asked for no particular reason.
Exact sms yesterday:
him: "Do you use handphone pouch?"
me: "Yes.. when i put into my bag."
him: "LoL..Make sense though, protect ur HP rite? Wat material of ur pouch you prefer?"
me: "><" you're doing survey projects?? I use anything that is not animals' skins"
him :"Is my leather pouch an animal skin? Black and smooth and silky.."
me : " ><" dont know.."
him: "Well.. If your phone is nto a flip phone, would u use a pouch?"
me: "..."
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On each day.. one agent will call me..
Monday : got
Tuesday: got
Wednesday (today) : got
But today's one better.. XD..very nice wor~ Still can joke with me~ And laugh..haha..^^ so nice..Helping me find a job..She say mediacorp ratings de one month assignment..Nice wor~.. near my house..^^ She say company very famous wor~ Say i speak very well/gg maybe she hear wrongly ba~ XD Kekeke.. so happy today.. everything seems very very fine.. but dont know who wanna go with me.. coz she ask your frens want also ma? Scare some is indecisive..so i dont ask.. haha..okie.. end here le ^^.. hope everythign turns out fine for the job.. and prays that i get the job ^^ GOD BLESS ME~ ^^
- evileen
Monday, September 26, 2005
I couldnt believe with my own eyes.. I made it. My own host server.. lol it runs on my laptop.. MY RO PRIVATE SERVER where ppl can connect to..online.
It was like this.. i went to the same forum.. look up for the ip add of soem new servers, and went in to take a look. And surprisely.. GM was just infront of me, and he asked if im the girl(evileen) who posted in the forum. YEAH THATS ME!! hehe.. he taught quite important stuff.. i would say.. the last steps of my server making.. IP thingy..God..I nv know you would grant me with that knowledge. XD
He tried to log in my server.. first guinea pig.. and i was amazed when he said, "congrats ^^, you made it"
I feel as if im floating on the clouds..hehe..Although my server abit unstable due to the emulator, and probably ><" also ppl who tries to flood my msn. (Imagine 7 msn boxes? when u trying to run a server just on your normal laptop?)
Im glad today was less neglected.. in other words, more ppl approached me for RO server stuff ><" talks to me i mean.. Good sign..
For someone:im sorry if whatever i've said has made you unhappy. But things do happen for some reasons. I'm sad because..Hope you will think about it.
- evileen
Saturday, September 24, 2005
Although I know no one actually reads my post, but i will continue to post as this is the only way i can express my feelings, and also diary is my only fren/confidante for life.
Talking about friends.. they are gone forever. my once bests pals of all.. Gone 4eva and nv back again.. This has been a problem for me even up to this day.. It may seem that im a very sensitive person to many ( yes, i dont deny that, but to only a certain extent) , or to even some ppl they might think this is a "minor" issue. But to me, I really take friendships with all my heart, and also on some occasions when i think about, i will cry over it.
Yes.. What's the big deal? Just put yourself inside my shoes..Everyday is never exciting if you stay home n rot all the way, and no one ever misses u , or maybe i use "in other words", no one wanna bother or care about, even you are dead. MSN contacts all can delete already.. lol.. handphone can throw away. Coz no one sms now already.. ><"
Just wanna exchange a few sentences with some ppl that i regarded as my best pals, and what?
"you busy now ma" The answer will always be a YES.
" How come u nv put the pics i have taken with u ? And why still put those old pics still.. those u took with ur frens as msn pic?"
The answer : "I dont look gd in pic ma..you also ma"
* honestly speaking.. i dont think that is the worst pic i ever took.. i find it pretty nice though.*
So trying to imply that we are both ugly??? OR.. Trying to come up a few stupid excuses?? As for the last pal.. well.. i dont blame you.. coz i know you already have your "everything-bf"
Im now trying very hard to find a job.. spent half of the day writing resumes and sent it to many agencies.. hope this method works on me.. because today is a saturday.. perhaps i will get some notifications on monday at least? Hopefully.. I just wanna spend the rest of my life slogging hard for the sake of money. And.. also to keep myself occupied.. since there's not much in life that interests me anymore.
For some reasons.. i hate some ppl now..
P/S: Anyone who read the above sentence, plz do not have doubts if im referring to you. Im referring to those who neglected me.
*sigh...* I really hope that i will not feel so sad always.. I've tried not to think at all already.. But it just stays there.. as if it was glued on my mind by some UHU glue.
If you ever wanna ask me what i wish for a present, be it bdae present or whatever..
I just want something simple..
To feel happy.. have my freedom.. And get someone who wanna talk to me at least T.T
A true friend/confidante will do..
- evileen
Thursday, September 22, 2005
Erm feeling sian and excited..
excited = finally found a way to download the latest KRO and Sakray clients [then can get all the stuff out that is not out from ERO yet hehehe]
sian = i want $$ and job =(
yippee.. the download for the clients.. isnt direct download.. spend less than half a day to figure out what is proxy downloading.. (eg, use south korea de proxy to download the Clients from korea, because they dont allow ppl beyond their proxy to download their stuff de =P)
Pro ma??
If anyone wanan download something you dont think is possible to just click like that..
I have a super good program thta i would recommend u to use,
it's the DOWNLOAD ACCELERATOR PLUS aka. DAP
kekeke.. it's available at download.com too.. just type in "DOWNLOAD ACCELERATOR PLUS"..and whats more.. it really lives up to its name.. the speed will accelerate.. forgot what accelerating means??( from physics???)
Acceleration = increasing rate =P
=(i wan a job so badly.....T.T
Evileen needs a friend badly that she can confides in..=]
- evileen
Sunday, September 18, 2005
"Im on top of the world.."
eh?? oops..A bit tipsy.. =X Nv slp last night.. haha abit tired ba..We had so much fun.. Seemed that so many things had happened.. just in one night.. but everyone has put the past behind us =X So in overall, i really enjoyed it. Haha.. although keep losing the games we played and have to forfeit by drinking ><" but very light ones.. henessy with alot of water..vooka with orange syrup , n alot of red wine * i hate red wine now, the more i taste it, the more it sux*
Aiya.. so bored..=( Just found out a better supported version emulator for my RO private server...hmm..
Here's my novice.. (just started a moment ago) still training.. ( err..sick of playing cheats, so intend to play the quest thing)
- evileen
Saturday, September 17, 2005
A friendless soul, in a lonely world..
With no pals.. with no friends..
Pondering in thoughts in every moments..
She wish..that things would never be the same..
She finds it surprisingly one day.. that she has no friends..or rather, even a single friend.
Talking to her all day long were nv her friends.. it's normally guys who are online.
This is sad... it goes to show she doesnt have a single friend..?
No..no one will ever know her existence.. Even when she died out of a sudden..
No one will care.. No one will bother..
Or even perhaps.. they will know..
But it will be on the last few pages of the newspapers..? or..maybe not.. they dont read newspapers..They will never know.. Because "they" never exist at all.
She has no friend.
real life fren: wow..you look prettier now.. so any bf?
her: err..broke up long ago.. now nope..
*later found out her real life fren put " 'im homosexual' as msn nick*
real life fren: how come..
*blabla*
her: im feeling very sad..because i have no friend.
real life fren: err.. what abt me?
her: haha.. you're very fortunate.. you have friends who are still in contact with you..so good..
real life fren: no.. you have me. we r frens.
her: thanks..but it seem.. that it's hard to find someone that you can really confide in.. these days..everyone is so busy..everyone is occupied with something.. it seems..that the whole world is rejecting u..it's useless to have a handphone.. can throw it anyway..Because even with so many free sms per mth.. no one ever bother to look up for me.. no one..
real life fren: huh..? nvm.. still have me..
her: thanks alot..
*but is just casual talk.. not her close fren anyway..*
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Later on..
as usual, police came to her house again. (for some reasons, dont bother to ask)
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another fren: hey.. 4 ice creams in 2 days? better take care and dont get sick..
her: how come you still rmb me? i tot you think i die le..
another fren: wah.. dont like that la..
her: haha.. used to it..supposed to be happy after exams.. but feeling very sad, sian and bored..
another fren: how come?? PMS?
her:...no
* and she talks abit of crap that sounds really sad for a moment*
another fren: hey.. something must be wrong..what happened?
her: nothing..nothing happened..everyday is like that.. im used to it..it's normal already..
another fren: sure?? okie..
*goes to counsell the mother for the *court* thingy*
( i will make sure the evil bitch*70plus of age* die --> if you dont die of old age, i will find ways to help u die. )
*comes back to the laptop..accidentally cloes all the msn windows..*
her: im sorry..i accidentally closed the box..did u write anything?
another fren: nvm.. it's ok..
her: well.. dont disturb u anymore..good nite..
another fren: nite..
* and she went off to sleep thereafter *
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today... will going to the esther foo's chalet.. will there be any fun..?
im afraid it will be bored as usual..i dont like this.. i dont know what is coming over me..
i was optimistic in the past.. but now..everything is not positive enough for me to be optimistic again..
a "kai xin guo", has now become a " ku gua"..
What has happened..?
I feel so suddenly out of the world..
Cant there be anything out there .. just to surprise me..? * err i mean good things*
I dont want to feel so free.. everyday at home.. no close fren ask me out..
I wan to work.. to keep me thinking of important things all the times..
And not brooding over the past like now..
I just want to be a normal, simple and happy person..
I want to live life.
- evileen
Friday, September 16, 2005
Today's topic will be on..
The blog theme: Memories..
Enjoy some pics..that i found still inside my com:
Doing things at the wrong time..
A misunderstanding that turned out to be half true..Ro kor: "Rmb to invite me to the wedding of both of you." *everyone /wah*
bongun n munak
close to you
it's now the past
I guess Yune will luv this place?
*Wu Sia*
*Zai wu ding chang zhe ni de ge~*
"Hi priest.."
"So what brings you here?"
"I've sinned today.."
"Why?"
"Because I forgot something.."
*Passes a bouquet of flowers to the priest. A bunch of flowers a day..keep the tears away~*
A nice view..
Lord of death cant separate us..
The santa claus:
"COME QUICK! ORISIS HERE!!" "Come.. take some pics.."
The light of heaven~
Asking for the hand in marriage .. under the legendary sakura tree..( a legend that says.. anyone who proposed marriage under this tree..on a saturday night, especially to a loved one.. will get the girl to say , "I do.")
Luring to Nifhelm, askng the girl to divorce the husband that is already gone.. trying to make the girl marry him thereafter.
He knows it all.
The curse..
Everywhere will be beautiful as long you are present.
Christmas memories..
Cursed..*Everyone left in a hurry /sob*
What are memories? The pictures explain it all.
You will never die.. as long im alive..
Yesterday is the past, today is the present, tomorrow will be a mystery..
The wall paper he made.. * the wallpaper that only i has it.*
Thank you for giving me such wonderful memories..
Always on my mind..
- evileen
Thursday, September 15, 2005
Finished my last paper today, but i just couldnt sense the happiness yet.. but i dont know how well i will do for the exams.. and although i feel relaxed already.. but i think im going to be bored soon. For some reasons: loneliness;friendless;no fun
After the paper.. our class went to west mall eat jap-food for lunch..
Soon after that, we headed home. And then i went out again to buy King's ice cream.
Erm...After exams.. I really have many thoughts that linger on my mind.
Feeling lonely out of the blue.. becoz i needed someone badly just to say , "I've finished my EXAMS!!" I recalled the days when i went out with...*for me to know and for you to find out* So many happening things were going on.. and i felt really fortunate to have known some ppl
One of the meetings..:
Went out shop shop.. then dinner time already..~ then went to foodcourt.. but was still packed and crowded.. cant find any seats..then we went ard to look for seats n he stayed to keep watch on one table~ I followed my fren to walk abt~ then my hp rang~
"hello?"
"found already.."
"oh.. then where's it then?"
"the place where you've abandoned me..."
It may seem that it's just a few simple exchanging sentences..But to me.. on that particular day.. these words really shaken me. Kept thinking about it.. then was really guilty coz i think for some occasions i dont really spare a thought for the others? Partly becoz I luv to stick with my fren... then wouldnt be comfortable if i were to stay on. So.. I apologised online when i went home. "It's ok..", was the reply.
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Walking outside the MRT station is a everyday routine for me. Always so long and crowded. And there's this two couples standing infront of me.. kinds of blocked my way.. When couples walk together.. they walk really slow.. so i will forgive them on this part, but their size... like 4 times of me.. really blocking the entire path already.. For a moment, i was telling to myself, "Dont ever pity yourself when you are committing the same mistake" ARGH~IM FAT!!
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Then comes the shelter path to my way home..
This guy..was limping.. might be because of old age. I've told myself, "No one can escape from the clutches of ageing, live life to the fullest, and make full use of your youth to do whatever things that you cant in the future."
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And now..I wish for many many things..
I wish.. I have friends.. I wish I can do things that i have nv been able to do..I wish..that some things can be like in the past~
Needed someone badly as a confidante~ to share my joys n sorrows all in all~ But no.. No one wanna be my confidante..Im so terribly sad.. that i have no friends.. not a single one..
I wish I have magic powers, to turn a object into a friend as a company. But all these things can be an exception, if only.. u were here.
- evileen
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Started studying FIT at 10pm after watching all the TV shows.. The dragon de at 7pm.. then the Zoey Tay's baby programme.. and then the X-files (local drama) all on Channel 8 =X Hardly read anything.. so only read 4 chapters the previous night, then morning wake up 9am look through the notes, but nv intend to finish..*/gg* kekeke.. SO BORING FIT.. Zzzz..Worst than a storybook~ Doesnt interest me at all =P
Today's paper wasnt really that hard.. I will rate it "so-so"..although i've no idea if my answers are correct anot...But managed to finish it..kekeke.. have the "sense of achievement".
Erm.. tml paper will be at 9am ..and 11am we will be smiling already.. kekeke.. But like not enough time to finish everything =(.. so everyone should be "chiong-ing" today le ba..
Jia You Everyone Le!! Ganbatte!! For the last one.. =P
- evileen
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
I was enjoying the ifa qns yesterday though.. although abit stress. but i find the qns challenging.. and key answers easy to understand. But, TODAY PAPER IS SO ...
Erm.. not really that hard..just out of time.. Not enough time -> to think
And.. all the ><" stuff is all over the place ! Like eg, expenses.. All over.. you have to locate them one by one.. all over the trial balance. Haiz.. same things applies to the rest.. My eyes become @.@ already.. Figures figures figures... When i was preparing the income statement -_-" Thought there's no "Revenue/Sales" given.. Then wrote the "Retained profits for the year".. and then.. coz i know im quite blur.. check again ><" It's somewhere at a "remote" area. SO hard to FIND ARGH! But well.. luckily i spotted my mistake.. then corrected it.. and funny thing is.. i thought im going to get a loss.. coz the cost of goods sold is like so much? Then after deducting it from the "Revenue" to get the gross profit = "hundreds thousand *very litte*"
It became worse when i went to the last qns.. when it was exactly 10am.. lol? i spent so much time on it? And still cant manage to finish it -_-" So i quickly wrote the formats of everything and put "crappy" figures inside. Throw everything in! lol..I pity the marker who is going to mark my scripts.. so untidy.. =X Pray hard that the marker is a kind-hearted soul. Alright.. gotta take some more rest.. and start preparing for another war tmr already.. I will nv succumb to defeat so easily to the exams papers.. Muahahahahaha..
* Lunatic signing off..*
- evileen
Monday, September 12, 2005
Although I know I have studied the wrong stuff for my cost acc paper, but i take this as a lesson for the other papers. Well, thinking positive can always help you to think better =)
today as usual the "crazy" i mean it.. really mentally unstable neighbours.. Keep shouting all they want, as if my whole block is their bungalow. lol.. how i came up with the "bungalow"? My bro was always making a joke out of them. lol.. just now he even told me the daughter when she grows up( she's pri 5 or 6 i guess) will be either a cleaner (better life) or a prostitute (slightly worse) He say cant make it.. lol.. Then i recalled my mom told me.. got some "aunties" say her hair stinks.. so bought her a shampoo to wash her hair.. Pathetic.. nv use shampoo for hair -_-" He actually emailed a complaint letter to the government that their coridoor stinks because of the dirty cans they have been collecting.. not giving any way to ppl who wanna walk out.. causing great inconvenience to the neighbours. I heard that they got someone to warn them.. so i dont see any cans hanging ard already lol..and the smell not as strong already.. maybe they shifted into their house, the house with cement floor not tiles. In the past.. I sympathized with them.. for them not being to live like the others..? Not able to pay bills? Then from the way they behave.. I darent tell ppl, "hey this is my neighbour." It's a disgrace. Now preparing for exams.. maybe they know.. then purposely so loud. Evil huh? I wonder if we can complain them again.. lol.. ask my bro to be the evil one. For them causing great harrassment to the neighbours..haha then eventually they get kicked out of their unit. Erm.. it has happened once.. when someone called the police? Coz one time they really made a great din, until the the ppl beyond my storey got disturbed and partly it was at late night, so they got warned by policemen.
I've been typing this for so long already.. yet they're still making so much noise.. I think this will be for the whole day ARgh. Dont force me to curse and swear at them. This is really getting very annoying.. Maybe one day i get really pissed off, and drives me to a stage, i go and get a voodoo doll and buy more thumbnails..( i think the package de needles not enuff =P) and MAKE SURE they get what they deserve.. okie.. enuff of my craps.. shall end here.
- evileen
Sunday, September 11, 2005
I realised the level of my stupidity when i flipped at my little notebook, and found out that I've studied the wrong stuff for my cost accounting paper. /... *Speechless*
Told many people how badly i think i have done.. Haiz.. thanks to those who ask me to forget about it and look forward to the other papers.. I will give my best.. and nv be so blur again =)
- evileen
I dont know what was it.. is it me.. or the headphone spoilt.. but is really perfect alright. for a no. of seconds, i used headphone and took it out, use speaker.. i cant hear anything.. then now mother n brother quarreling~ My headache just wont go away.. how....?? The "few seconds" deafness is it linked to it? Im really scared..(T.T)
- evileen
Saturday, September 10, 2005
I always tell myself.. "Try your best.. do whatever you can.. how you want your result to be.. will be what you are doing right now.."
But is it true that hard work bear fruits..? I have doubts when i was trying to attempt the exam questions today. I was struggling so hard before the blaw paper just for this paper. I nv touch any other modules yet. All i did ...was for this paper.. and with the mindset that it'll be a letdown to Mrs Ang if i were to fail. I tried so hard.. I did everything i could .. even with very often excruciating headaches.. BUT WHAT? I still cant do it.. I felt like crying already when i was attempting the paper. How could this be ever be possible? The questions seem alien to me even though i've tried all the lecture illustrations.. Left so many parts intact..I think im going to be done for..
Im really scared..Im afraid i'll be driven to a stage where i couldnt take it anymore..I scare i will fail.. bring disgrace to my family.. I know failing doesnt mean that you're a disgrace..but my family thinks that way. Im already a poly student.. but what if i still do badly? I dont know..Im somehow demoralized already.. How i wish there's someone just to hear me out.. To be a listening ear.. and listen to all my troubles. Im always alone..
Hope everyone's words of encouragement and blessings can really work on me~ God bless me~ Because I've done what I can already..(T.T)
- evileen
Friday, September 09, 2005
Was very scared actually.. Because.. i nv give my best this time round. My mind is always wandering.. haha.. Kinda surprised when karen whistled to me and then i turned around she said, "the teacher got attitude!" lol.. I think this is something to calm me down.. or rather piss me off? The teachers.. always nv spare a thought for the students.. Keeps talking even the exam has commenced. Why..? I think perhaps.. teachers need some limelight here and there.. Give them a chance to speak? haha.. I was kinda "sian" when i read the qns. "Boring", was what i thought. But then when they say, "Start." My hands were trembling.. Dont know why.. Not that i scare the teacher who was always walking around, but i just couldnt stop my hands from shaking.. Or is it im thinking just too much..? Or..i have started to panick because im not prepared at all. Well.. i think this shall mark the of the day~
Gakusei, ganbatte!!
- evileen
Yup.. those that check my bloggie.. very often.. I've changed my layout. Hmm.. Still abit not satisfied.. There's still room for improvement. I was bored yesterday although yesterday just started studying blaw.. Hmm.. was having a headahce.. so i thought of doing stuff i like to do~ The original blogskin wasnt like this though. I've inserted marquee* the scrolling part at the front when you enter my blog* and also the cursor part.. yup.. And some words.. Haha.. thanks to peiyi.. suggesting me to put the mouseover thingy.. so that people will know it's a link.. And yup.. I learnt how to do it a couple of minutes ago, and Tada!~ heh.. can you see the hand when the cursor is over the links at the left panel of my bloggie? Ha..
ARGH~ Still not in the mood for studying.. Bad aint i? I went shopping just now actually.. haiz.. Now need to find something for stupid brother. So i shall end here. Tata!
- evileen
Thursday, September 08, 2005
Just having some thoughts right now.
Before my lunch, my mom asked me to cook instant noodle for lunch. Oh well. That will be fine. Just waste a couple of minutes of cooking junk food, was what i thought. And then, I realised there's no matches this time round. I was surprised when she asked me to use ordinary lighters,yea.. those lighters people use for smoking.. =.=" And i was trying so hard.. then ask karen who was online, how on earth can i light it up with burning my thumb. YES I burnt my thumb. Clumsy uh? Imagine it's not easy for me to strike it already, then still have to place it near the stove, and keep the flaming burning, because you have to tilt it to a angle that it will light up the stove, and yea you got it, I got my thumb burnt instead. well well well.. haha karen commented alot on this when i told her about my situation. lol.. "Show them you have a mind of your own. And let the people know that you dont like them." Let them know I have a mind of my own? Erm.. I think i've done this ages ago. yea.. not very happy with my life too.. kinda.. not my life, but their life instead.. So thats why i was planning to be independent soon, and earn as much money as i can. And nah.. normally i dont tell people if i dont like them. I will just show it *grin * Quite obvious sometimes too.. And how people will know i dont like them? It will be up to their EQ then. But my family has low eq.. so thats an exception then.
But in the end, she did it. The way she light up the stove with that lighter, i was stunned for a moment, and there's a technique how she do it. Not like the way i hold it, but err.. but like holding a gun like that. got "stuns".
- evileen
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
Haiz today today tired liao.. nv study much =(
Coz when people chat with me, then i will reply alot =.= Why like that ne??
Was trying to say hi to Kor~ although we exchanged only a few lines.. and i told him what's been going on in my life..
What he said:
"kelian~"
"i gtg le.. if u are lonely and need sum1 to talk to.. do find me.. u got my number rite.."
"take care and may God bless you and ur weekend.. God is there for u" *ending it with a hearts emoticon*
is actually my ro brother but is always so nice and pleasant to talk... haiz..
but sometimes kor's words really makes my day~ because.. occasionally will sms me or talks to me, "if you got any problem, feel free to find me." At least, he's not like my good friends.. always busy busy busy.. then totally nv talk .. busy still can talk ^^
[hees.. this is the kor very very rich de.. who wanna buy pocket-pc kekeke.. for mei mei.. but coz the humble mei mei rejected. =( No misunderstanding, he has a gf, older than him some more! Wakakaka!! And already planning for the wedding ! Wants me to be there!! kekeke.. =X ]
- evileen
Sian la.. i hate it most when people peeped at my screen what im doing.. XD
No porns definitely. =.= i dont encourage porns. porns are for those who dont have those "necessary stuff". or perhaps i make it sound very worse. okie. im stopping here. ok. back to seeing my friendster ChioBus~ Stupid la! Mother suddenly say, "wah.. why make your pictures until like that?" =.= NOT MY PICS IS OTHER PPL'S PIC. was wat i replied her. I think maybe she's panicking now. But i also dont know what im doing either. Maybe im becoming lesbian soon =( so girls beware.. LOL.. Do you believe this?
- evileen
Monday, September 05, 2005
I just recalled a dream i had last night. It was an unknown yet familiar place. But the blur me, always cant rmb places very well.. so err.. this dream.. consists of my secondary school friends, and some counsellors.. and plus the school principal, Mr Richard Chew, whom my brother had written a complain letter to him in real life. i mean real.. yeah.. coz my brother wanna go to some bishan condo to look for a fren~ so wanna use my sch gate as a short-cut. So.. he was stopped by a new security guard..then he was very very furious because it really pissed him off.. for making late for 30mins.. haha..
ok back to the dream..
It was after "Recess" time. so.. normally those counsellors will lead us to our class even we are grown-ups =.= I dont know what happened.. i hadnt had my lunch.. coz i lost my way? lol? then i couldnt find the canteen.. the further i walk.. then the more scared i got.. and i approached a counsellor in the end, =.= who pointed me a wrong direction. Then i give up already.. thinking I will be late for class..so went to look for class instead~ And cant even find the class! LOLZ.. Coz that "particular school" was damn huge.. look "high-tech" to me too.. all the doors made of auto-detect glass doors.. lol.. feel so trapped.. Then dont know why i open my eyes already morning Zzz.. Feel so damn tired sia.. Because having dreams at night actually tired you out.. because your braincells are still being activated.. requires you to think more.. and sleeping is the "process" of " creating braincells" as what RO kor has told me. Dreams.. activate your brains.. Isnt it contradicting? You sleep to create braincells.. then dreams kill it.. Haha.. Just some thoughts.. okie.. thats all for the day~
- evileen
WHY COULDNT PERSON JUST GIVE ME SOME PERSONAL SPACE???
i feel like crying now.. time is running out.. it's always like this.. i dont know how to put this into words.. all i wan is to be left alone.. I dont know why.. i feel like crying now.. writing this with teary eyes.. i wanted to go sch to study? and i am not allowed to go out, just because she has foul mood??? STUPID WATER.. FOR YOUR INFO, i have many problems in my everyday life, my parents dont talk to each other? BROTHERS dont talk to each other? And im the only person who can talk to everyone..
I REALLY CANT TAKE IT.. IM always the person to settle everything for them. THey have problems also my problems. BUT WHEN I HAVE PROBLEMS?? WHO WILL BE THERE FOR ME?? I M BREAKING DOWN NOW! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE I PRAY
- evileen
Sunday, September 04, 2005
Feel terribly "sick" now.. feel like vommitting.. feeling restless.. headaches...
Just read a blog of an unknown. Wow.. Like suddenly know so many things lol.. Haha kiapo again. Mei xiang dao somebody i know is so "selfish"? so.. err.. "grudges-bearing" de?.. Haha none of my business though.. just happens to read their "incidents" so.. kinda feel angry for the girl.. err well.. but i dont feel sad for anyone la.
Imagine a girl still thinking of a ex bf.. then writes a blog especially for him..(i know of that blog, coz that guy gave me de) Haha i dont know this part..--> Some girls like me wont let "some ppl" to read the blogs de =X.. hees.. it's some part of a privacy of a girl ma.. So ok.. get back to the story.. That guy's gf nv let him know the webby of her blog too~ so.. dont know what happened? Just know they had some arguments.. and how on earth will they get to know each other? and scold her bitch thru sms or msn? haha.. What a weird world.. in the first place -_-" i think it's the guy's fault. EVERYTHING. lolx..coz so flirtatious some more.. always tackle all girls.. not handsome also.. lol why on earth girls will fight over him?
my comments: seriously speaking. i think that girl also have some problems. if broke already, then broke la, then why still write a blog, then tell that guy she likes him -_-" And the blog domain is i-love-*theguyname*.blogspot.com Haha.. Ironic world.. why would a girl want to make herself so "low" just to get a ugly guy.. lol.. pardon me for that.. Coz seriously.. that guy not good looking to me. Wakaka i have high expectations you know? For your info again, some of you think HORIGAN is cute to me, BUT, he's cute in a sense, that he looks like santa claus..Erm.. example of a CUTE GUY will be.. Keanu Reeves Aww~ so handsome.. hees.. the male leading in matrix and also constantine..aka Mr John Constantine.. Kekeke..
wow.. haha.. interesting stories uh?
Haiz now my head is spinning still..Waiting for the rain to stop.. Finally..Zzz.. stopped le.. So i think i go out and buy some "exams equips" le.. ok.. that's all for the day.. Tata.. AND! one more one more thingy.. lol.. my brother wanna use msn to accept a file. So i dont wan him to fight the computer with my second brother. so i let him use mine.. -_-" i know this is a grave mistake.. lol.. SUPER BIG LA the file.. so he signed his account initially.. when he's leaving , i told his friend i wanna sign in my account then he/she send me again.. MUAHAHAHA!! SURPRISE.. add that person le.. then saw my msn pic , that person commented, "YOU LOOK DIFF FROM LAWRENCE!" yea yea~ cool~ i replied, " THANK GOD /gg" I love you GOD for making me look different from my brother WAKAKAKKA..
MUAHAHHAA IM ABIT BONKERS NOW.. and.. YES! -_-" someone asked me, " is your msn pic you? " I replied, " yes" Then that person say *bla bla bla * ZZzz... "Actually i cannot put my pic in msn , coz i dont have my pics in com.. Frankly speaking i look like Rain ( from the FFX) " (-_-") And i give the "/SWT" which means sweat.. in Ro la.. GOSH.. ok.. gotta go.. bye
- evileen
Saturday, September 03, 2005
Right now.. im feeling cold, both physically, and psychologically.
Woke up feeling very stuffy.. but now it's raining.. Feeling better already. =) Wanted to do some workings for the Cost Accounting, that ive just started looking yesterday.. I realised Ive run out of paper. -_-" Go out very sian leh.. Sms my friend.. nv reply.. dont know is nv look at the phone or what.. haiz.. Super bored bored bored!! Haha just read ningning's blog wor.. Same as me sia.. i need music to keep me company.. coz no one talks to me de.. =X So i will feel that something is studying with me. Wakakakaka!! So i will not feel im the only person studying.. And not forgetting my dinosaur.... who braved throught all "hardships" with me. IM NOT ALONE. well.. trying to cheer myself up.. time for lunch.. *drools*..
- evileen
Friday, September 02, 2005
Well.. yesterday did nothing much..Didnt go for the FIT tutorial because i dont see a need to, since our group has finished the Q&A part.. Kinda bored at home.. So totally no mood to do anything.. Saw my brother playing maple everyday.. with his dear..
Im always very kiapo de.. haha always peep at his screen.. sometimes i wanna to see chio bu s' pic ma.. so .. i always see "Hi dear!" He say to her.. i have no more dear =( Actually i dont anyhow call people "dear" already, even though i have a new Ro hubby~ lol.. maybe to good frens ba.. "luv ya"..
But, no one play with me..so i doubt it will be fun if i go in and play.. Chatted the whole afternoon with an online friend.. I find it very boring haha.. nvm.. In the evening..Jes added yune into the conversation.. haha asked who wants to go it fair ar.. but i cannot spoil myself too much.. dont keep going out la.. my mrt fare negative already after topping up so much.. mei you qian le la.. And they talked abt watch..? and friends stuff ~ So i dont have anything to say.. so i went to watch tv --> Jue Dui Superstar leaving the conversation. Kelly performed pretty well.. She's cool..a sweet and nice voice.. basically all images suits her really well.. because she really brought out the image of a jue dui superstar..But in the end, Kelvin won. I was kinda shocked again? But come to think of it, if he wins..it will change his entire life.. no need to sing on the streets again? haha.. So i feel both sad and happy at the same time.. sad for kelly.. and happy for kelvin..
MY life is so dull... haha.. HOW?? Maybe i will keep myself occupied during holidays.. try to find a job.. hopefully~
- evileen